Relationship Wellbeing
There are to basic forms of relationships:
1. Needy
2. Attractor
A ‘needy’ relationship is when we believe that we need someone else to make us whole. The ‘attractor’ relationship is when we feel whole within ourselves and engage in relationships for the love of them, as opposed to the need for them.
In a needy relationship we care for...
In an attractor relationship we care about...
One of the core needs of being human is to feel a sense of connection with others, but this is impossible to do at any depth of satisfaction until we have developed a connected and loving relationship with ourselves, so this is the place to start.
To fully realise a loving relationship with ourselves we need to understand our relationship to self worth, self-esteem and self-approval.
Once we have taken back control of these we are well on our way to being capable of developing wonderful and fulfilling relationships with others.
When we are needy, it is a repellent energy and although you might attract a 'carer' or 'knight in shining armour' who is attracted to 'saving damsels in distress' or men who just ‘need to be cared for' the outcome will never live up to your romantic expectations.
Like Begets Like.
When we have developed our own sense of self sufficiently, are happy within ourselves and build a genuine self-esteem we become attractive - most importantly we become attractive to other people who are after the same.
Happiness research has shown again and again that the best way to experience a happy relationship is to get happy and then start out with an equally happy partner. Of course some couples take the journey together but they only last as long as both parties are willing to do the same growth and development in roughly the same time frames.
Once you have the needy / attractor aspect dealt with there are some key relationship tools we can begin to employ to make them better and better.
In regard to our personal / loving relationships the 3 key areas would be:
- Communication skills
- Sexual dynamics
- Trust developing and honouring
However as you know relationships in general are one of the single most important aspects of life, in fact life is simply a fabric of the relationships we create, build and maintain.
...our work, children, friends, sales interactions, money, health and family.
They are all as successful as the relationships we build with either someone or with our selves.
To learn how to align seemingly opposing parts of ourselves and learning the psychology of how others think and behave is perhaps the most fundamental of skills you need to know to have great relationships.
What we are focusing on here are learned skills; they don't just happen or fall out of the sky. They are psychological facts that when understood make life and our relationships blossom with energy, connection and happiness.
For example, did you know that there are 6 core human needs that when you learn how to satisfy within yourself and with others, happiness and success are pretty much guaranteed.
They are:
- Safety / security
- Variety / change
- Growth / development
- Love / connection
- Significance / importance
- Contribution / giving
Good relationships are the stepping-stones to a good life.
Bad relationships can move us into the depths of despair far too quickly.
Learning the skills to let go of troubling relationships that you have outgrown or don't serve you is fundamental to a renewed and happy you. Learning to end toxic relationships that are bound by guilt, anger, shame and fear is a must for anyone who truly seeks to feel alive and free.
Imagine for a second that every relationship you have ever had has created a thick cord of energy connecting you to every person you have ever met - the stronger and more intense the relationship either positive or negative the thicker the chord that is connecting you.
You can see that when looked at like this you are at the centre of an immense web or chords, the fleeting relationships would just break off so thin would be the attachment, but the stronger negative relationships will be keeping you held down, just as the stronger positive relationships will be keeping you in place as well; a place that you no doubt much prefer.
Remember that ‘relationships’ are not just with people. Relationship binds can be to many areas of life such as health conditions and money beliefs.
Exploring, understanding and then taking control of relationships is one of the major keys to the life you want - whatever that may be.
Join us on a weekend course or take a self-help home-study program and get the information, techniques and awareness you need...make relationships far more what they should be...a joy, a delight and the essence of connection.
Mastering relationships…we’ll show you how it's done step by step.
